may 22nd, 2002 / 5:31 p.m.

she looked into my eyes and said as coldly as she had said anything before

"i hate you."

and in that one moment my entire life fell apart....

i don't remember much of the next two hours..i remember hearing yelling, lots of yelling. i remember apologizing profusely. i remember telling her i could change.

i remember her telling me that she didn't love me anymore.

the room seemed to spin after that remark. i felt sick to my stomach and walked out the door of her 3rd story apartment and into the freezing november rain.

i meandered uselessly for the rest of the night in the city that once used to embrace me but now scorned my every foot step.

my cell phone felt like a lead weight in my pocket as i deserately tried not to call her. she didn't want to hear my voice, she didn't want to hear me crying, she especially didn't want to hear me tell her that i still love her..

it's a lonely city at 3 in the morning, but i can make the prediction that no matter where i go, or what time it is, life is going to be alot more lonely without her...

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