April 25, 2006 / 11:06 p.m.

I can't keep doing this
waking up with girl a,
going to bed with girl b.
I need loyalty
I need sincerity
I need someone to understand my insecurities.
I'm not yet old. But I'm getting older.
Friends are getting married, having kids, and buying houses while I'm stuck with child-like idealisms.
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I just go to school,
get a job, find a wife, get married and die...
happy
I feel like my chances are running out
at being someone important to one person
or to a large group (it doesn't matter which)
I write these words to help me cope
but they don't hide my obvious failures
which are written into each line
I'm not yet dead, but I'm tap dancing around the grave
the soundtrack full of songs of rejection
I can't keep doing this
Living life like its never going to end
because it will
and I really don't want to die alone.

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